Turning Harmful Words into a Happier Perspective. Part 1.

It has been a very rough past couple of weeks for me. I wish I could go into detail of it all, but some of it is just too much to handle for a blog post.

But to sum up the couple of past weeks into one idea is hateful/harmful words.

Getting older, and trying to find “your” people as you are moving through life is getting harder and harder. You think that you may have found someone, but oh wait, they can sometimes say something that makes you feel like a terrible person.

For me, I over think anything and everything possible, especially when people say something that can be super judgey, and with things that aren’t meant to be thought about too much. You could say the smallest most meaningless thing, and I could over think it so much, to where its definitely not what was meant by it at all.

However, the more that these harmful words and comments are said to me, the more I am understanding on how I should handle it, and how I should think or not over think about it. We will start off with the comments that you may have heard before, by either being said to you, or you saying it to someone else.

“You’re Spoiled.”

There are many different ways that this can be taken. Some people are spoiled to the point of being a brat and getting everything that they want by taking advantage too much of  what they are being given. Some people are spoiled by their significant others; sending them money, and buying them whatever they ask for. And some people are just able to be given money and get something paid for by their parents, because their parents were able to provide for them in that specific way.

I am not saying that being spoiled is bad. All of these reasons can be very valid, but when this comes up in a conversation, you have to take the time to step back and think about things. Which one of these categories do you fit into, if you’ve ever heard this term directed toward you. For me, this came up in a conversation with friend. The first time that it came up, the correct terms were used, so that it didn’t sound hateful, but then when they said “Yeah, you are spoiled” a rage just hits. All these different emotions coming up at once. First it was anger, because how dare anyone say that to you. Then sadness, because you start telling yourself, and fully believing that “yep, they are right, you are spoiled.” Then after a day or two, I got over it a little more. Let me give you a little more information. Yes, my parents are paying for my college tuition. Yes, I am EXTREMELY grateful, and blessed that my parents are able to provide for me in this way. I do not currently have a job, because I am taking 7-8 classes a semester, and I have dance rehearsals. So no, I don’t have time to fit a job in anywhere. I had a job this past summer, and I made some good money from it. And my initial instinct is to save the money for when I’m older, and I do that. So my parents give me money so that I am able to buy groceries, for my apartment. But do I spend all the money that they give me on dumb things? No. I believe I am very blessed to have this relationship with my parents so that they do not make me have a job. But no, I do not believe that I am spoiled because of what my parents are able to provide for me.

This comment hit very hard with me. And everyone can have their own opinions, and I have mine. Now, we will talk about how to take a hurtful comment and turn it into a different/ maybe happier perspective.

It has been a couple of days since I have had this conversation with my friend, and the way that I was able to turn this around in my own way, is to think about 1.) How blessed I am. 2.) Dive into something new about the situation. The way that I did this was by starting to look into and apply to job internships in my major. I have to think about why I dont have a job, and drive myself into my schoolwork and my dance, so that I am able to get a job at the end of my college career. This almost fueled my fire in a way, to where I wanted to prove people wrong in the end. Which leads me to think about the future outcome. When I have a job, and a big beautiful house, and a big beautiful family, and I am making tons of my own money because I focused so hard during school, and I’ll be good at my job.

Hearing this comment, and thinking about it for a while has helped me to realize how blessed that I am, and how what people say need to roll off your shoulders, or change you for the better. I hope to make this Turning Harmful words into a Happier Perspective, blog post a series. I think that talking about this and turning this into a small series of blog posts, I can not only let other people know that negative things can be turned onto a positive direction, and also to help me cope with the things going on in my life.

I hope that you enjoyed part 1 of Turning Harmful Words into a Happier Perspective. I hope that you come back next time to read part 2!